7 Tips For Fixing Your Relationship With Food


I never realised that eating was the only tool I used to cope with my feelings and emotions. 

Happy? Eat.  Sad?  Eat.  Anxious? Eat.  Bored? Eat. 

Honestly, unless I was asleep - my hand was in the snack drawer of self-pity.




Everyone always said that I was such a healthy eater, and I wanted to maintain that image because I thought that was what people expected of me. 
So in front of others, I would eat small amounts of 'healthy' foods.
If I ate 'unhealthy' foods in private then it didn't really count....right?

The tighter I held on to trying to maintain a 'healthy' image, the more I felt the need to let go. And that just started another cycle of bingeing followed by restricting followed by bingeing. 

Really, food was both my enemy and emotional crutch.


Here's some powerful tools that helped me heal my relationship with food: 


1) Understanding that food is not the enemy

Food isn’t out to harm you or help you, to be your friend or enemy. It is fuel for your body - whether is is an apple or a cupcake, its sole purpose is to keep your body alive. 

Food itself has no moral value. Your food choices are not a measure of yourself as a human. Food is not a measure of your kindness; or how loving you are; or of how you treat other people. 

Food is not the problem. 
But, it is also not the answer to your problems. 


2) Is it hunger? 

It should be simple to tell whether you're hungry, but that often just isn't the case.

Hunger is physical and is usually presented as - but not limited to - one or more of these symptoms: hunger pangs; growling/grumbling; gnawing; an empty or slightly queasy feeling; loss of energy; trouble concentrating; difficulty making decisions; light-headedness; a slight headache; shakiness; and irritability.

Each body is different and hunger will present itself differently to me, as it does for you. 

If it is not physical hunger, identify what your need is and honour it. When a craving doesn't come from hunger, eating doesn't satisfy it. The 'hunger' may be emotional, habitual or social and can be fed in other ways.  

3) Give yourself permission to eat whatever you like

We all want what we can't have. 

I've been there. 
"One more" is never just one. 
The salad you order instead of the burger you want leaves you feeling unsatisfied.
The pizza you told yourself that you couldn't have, ended up being super tasty but you now batter yourself for 'giving in', for not being strong-willed enough. 
But... I guess, diet starts tomorrow so you might as well devour the rest of the cupboard contents, and the fridge, maybe even the shop round the corner so there is absolutely no chance that you will ruin your diet tomorrow...

Start by giving yourself unconditional permission to eat whatever you want, whenever you want. 

Food is food. Obliterate the food hierarchy that is formed in your brain. 
No food is inherently good or bad; healthy or unhealthy; clean or dirty; real or fake.

At first you may resort to previously 'forbidden' foods but after a while, the foods that we once told ourselves that we 'shouldn't' or 'can't' eat aren't as enticing as the foods we previously 'should' eat because you can have whatever you like, whenever you like. 


4) Mindful eating

When we eat with our emotions, we tend to live from the shoulders up; trying to fill a mental void and ignoring hunger signals. 

You can practise mindful eating by taking a moment before eating to notice the different foods on your plate; identifying the different textures and flavours of each mouthful and taking a mid-meal pause to think about how satisfied/full you are. 

It often takes about 15-20 minutes for your stomach to signal to your brain that you are satisfied so eating your meals slowly and mindfully is a great way to help prevent eating past the point of fullness (aka 'food coma'). 


5) Ditch diet culture

There is no magic pill, drink, workout or food group that will make you lose or gain weight. Fat gain and fat loss knuckles down to the calories you consume vs the calories you burn.

Get rid of any book, idea or silly miracle product that offers you the false hope of losing weight quickly, easily, and permanently. 
Diet culture is a belief system that focuses on and values weight, shape, and size over well-being. It is kept alive by causing you to feel like you need to be of a certain size or look a certain way to be accepted in society.
You are led to believe that you are a failure every time a new diet stops working or you gain the weight (and more) back. Causing you to inject your money into the next 'magic' solution.
Each 'diet' or 'magic solution' is designed to fail so that you are forever trapped in the toxic, and completely normalised, hamster wheel of shame - which is why the diet industry was valued at $192.2 billion in 2019, and is projected reach $295.3 billion by 2027. (www.alliedmarketresearch.com)


6) Fuel your body properly 

We've spoken about food being the fuel for your body.
The food you fuel yourself with will affect your energy levels, your mood, your skin, as well as your personality. You get to choose how good you feel, and learning which foods work for you and make you feel great is an all important aspect of living a happy life.

Biologically, our bodies are programmed to survive. So when you aren't fuelling your body with the energy it needs, you're more likely to reach for high-fat, high-sugar, high-calorie food as a quick way to boost energy levels; combine this with the way our modern snacks are created and refined, you're left feeling satisfied for seconds - before reaching for more; and sharp increases and decreases in blood sugar levels - leaving you craving more high-sugar, refined foods. 

At meal time, focus on building a balanced plate with carbohydrates (no, they don't make you gain weight), protein and fats. Portion size varies per person and per meal but a good rule of thumb is to fill half of your plate with at least 2 portions of fruit/veg, about a fist sized portion of starchy carbs, for example: potato, pasta, rice; a palm sized portion of protein, like chicken breast, beans, fish; and a thumb sized portion of fats - like olive oil, avocado or dairy. 

Alongside your meals, snack when necessary but it is best to pair foods, such as a carbohydrate and a fat source or a protein and a fat source to keep you satiated for hours, instead of minutes.


7) Be kind to yourself 

Treat yourself with kindness. It's normal to emotionally eat sometimes. It's normal to eat past the point of fullness sometimes. Don't beat yourself up - remind yourself that is just food. 
Get back to your normal eating habits at the next meal.  

There is no such thing as perfect, not a perfect body, or a perfect diet. 
The sooner you can stop trying to eat 'perfectly', the sooner you'll be able to find out what your body really wants and needs.

You are worthy no matter what the number on the scale is; the size in your clothes; what you ate yesterday or what you have eaten today. 

You are worthy by being you. 

Accept yourself. Love yourself. Keep moving forwards. 

Kate xx


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